We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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