I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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