I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize