We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize