The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
