remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I think I died a long time ago.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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