she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
