I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
