i just wanna soil my oats bro
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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