loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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