Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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