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and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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