We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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