im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
