Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
