p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
