There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
