Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
