do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
