It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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