did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
