My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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