Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
