I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
