Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
