Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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