I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
