The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
