I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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