I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
