It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize