would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
