escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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