Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize