Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
