yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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