Your tits are I can't wait for
Your dad touched me again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
