i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
