There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
