What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
