FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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