Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
