i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
