so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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