how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
