the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
