I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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