Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
My vagina is very pro this idea
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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