I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
