I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize