omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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