I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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