This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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