so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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