I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
