DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
