In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
