Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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