Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
only if we run a train.
done.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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