Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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