Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
