He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
