dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
